Scotland/U.S.: Gay star John Barrowman talks about wanting be a dad

Link: Scotland on Sunday
by Catherine Deveney

Excerpt:

You'd be forgiven for thinking John Barrowman has had a charmed life. But the boy growing up in America's Midwest with a Scottish accent and the knowledge that he was gay has had his fair share of struggles.

Minutes into the interview with actor and musical star John Barrowman, just as a few question marks about him are forming in my mind, something very charming happens. A man hovers at Barrowman's back. Sorry to interrupt. Could his wee boy say hello? Certainly. The little boy, an angelic blond, is about three. He stares at Barrowman with the kind of look children often reserve for shop Santas: a mixture of rapt wonder and awe, tinged with a soupçon of fear and disbelief. Speech has deserted him. This is Captain Jack from Doctor Who and Torchwood!

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It's not often in our society that gay men are allowed to be fantasy heroes to small boys. Captain Jack is a bisexual time traveller fighting to save the planet, and in real life Barrowman is gay too. He's in a 14-year relationship with Scott Gill, an architect. It's always a bit poignant watching gay men with kids, particularly when, like Barrowman, they have made no secret of the fact they would like to be a father. What appeals to him about fatherhood? "I don't know. I just think I would be a good dad. Scott and I have an incredible amount to offer a child. Gay men have two individual incomes and don't spend their money on anything but themselves, so we have money we could offer for a good education to help a child who didn't have anything, who grew up in an orphanage."

Would he be more interested, then, in helping an orphan than having a blood child? "I think it probably would interest me more but the side of me that is selfish would also like to have a blood child. If we were doing that we'd have one and adopt one. We also said we'd mix the sperm so we didn't know who was the father." He and Scott might prefer that – but would a child? Legislation now emphasises children's rights to know their origins. "Well, if they needed to, but I really think a child growing up in a loving home wouldn't care."

The home might be loving. The rest of the world isn't always. But Barrowman says the prospect of a child with two fathers being ostracised or bullied isn't a major concern. "You pack up and you move to a place where they don't," he says stoutly. Does such a place actually exist? But you'll always be picked on for something as a child, he argues. And he would give short shrift to the idea that, since a child is not the natural consequence of a same-sex relationship, homosexuals have no particular right to be parents. "These children are wanted. Think how much planning it actually takes. More planning than some people who just go out and get knocked up and have a baby."

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So what does love mean to him? "Companionship. Security – as in another person, I don't mean financial. Someone who will listen to you, respect you, do anything for you." But that doesn't come automatically. "You have to make an effort. My mum used to joke, 'You've got to do things to keep the spark alive.' And I said, 'Mother, I'm so glad to hear that! And I hope you and Dad keep the spark alive for a long, long time.'" He grins. "I've seen their wardrobe. I know what she's talking about. Let's just say dressing up occurs every so often. And you know what? That's what makes it work. That's why they've been together 53 years. That's what a relationship is about and it doesn't matter if you're two men, two women, or a man and a woman. It's actually very similar."

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