CA: Commentary--"My Thoughts on the Likely Anti Gay-Marriage November Ballot Initiative"

Link: The California Majority Report
by Chris Moore

Excerpt:

After learning that the November ballot will more than likely include a Constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, I was inspired to offer some personal, rather than just purely political, commentary on the issue. Of course I'm a proponent of gay marriage and vehemently oppose this possible ballot initiative, but simply saying "I support this" and "I oppose that" is not good enough. I'm a 22 year old, politically-inclined, gay Democrat working in the California Legislature. Shouldn't I have something fresh, personal, and touching to say about this issue? Well, here is my attempt:

I think I am part of a new era for LGBT folks. I have tons of gay and lesbian friends that experienced their teenage years in the 1970's, 80's, and 90's, and I think their experiences were significantly different than mine. The new millennium marked the beginning of high school for me as well as the beginning of my "coming out" process. However, it more importantly marked the beginning of an era where young gays and lesbians could grow up in an environment where their sexuality was not only accepted, but failed to be the sole factor by which other's judged them. In the following excerpt, writer Benoit Denizet-Lewis makes this same point and discusses its implications regarding gay marriage:

"Young gay men today are coming of age in a different time from the baby-boom generation of gays and lesbians who fashioned modern gay culture in this country -- or even from me, a gay man in his early 30s. ... Teenagers are coming out earlier and are increasingly able to experience their gay adolescence. That, in turn, has made them more likely to feel normal. Many young gay men don't see themselves as all that different from their heterosexual peers, and many profess to want what they've long seen espoused by mainstream American culture: a long-term relationship and the chance to start a family."

I am one of these young men and here is my story:

I'm from a small Northern California town and am the youngest of three children. I was class President; my Republican parents owned a farming business; I attended Catholic Mass every Sunday; and my football superstar older brother was literally in the newspaper weekly. The worst situation ever to come out in, right? Well, actually, no; it wasn't that big of a deal.

I know the phrasing "not that big of a deal" may come as a shock, as "coming out" is supposed to be a singular event marked with tearful drama, sleepless nights, family disownment, and every other horrible thing imaginable. These days, however, myself and others my age just don't get all that juicy drama. Don't misunderstand my playful banter -- I am extremely thankful for the courage exercised by my older LGBT comrades when their situations seemed grim. It is, I'm sure, because of their courage that my being gay has been that much easier.

So what happened when I told a bunch of people I was gay? What happened when my parents, grandparents, extended family, friends, friends' parents, and the whole town found out I was gay? Not a whole hell of a lot. I was still re-elected Class President, I still graduated with honors, I still ran in the "cool" circles and I still went to college. I was still a normal kid and accordingly got treated like it. I'd like to think I'm still that same normal kid, just a few years older and doing normal 20-something things rather than normal teenage things. These days, my "conservative" Catholic family thinks it unconscionable that I currently can not marry the person I love.

[...]

If a bunch of Catholic farmers in rural Northern California accept me with open arms and want to see me marry the person I love, I think almost anyone will favor marriage rights for same-sex couples, so long as they have that real person to whom they can attach the issue. Further, since the coming out process is increasingly becoming "not that big of a deal," more and more youth are coming-out and spreading the message of marriage equality just by being themselves -- normal everyday folks.

I can not describe how it feels to know that a group of people are trying to amend the State Constitution, the highest source of law in the state, to deny to me something many people describe as the best day of their life -- the day they get married. All I can say is that it hurts and continues to boggle my mind that people feel still feel this way.

If you have never asked yourself this, do so now: what if I couldn't marry the person I loved?

[jw]