Thursday, May 15, 2008

Commentary: Will I Live to See My Wedding Day?

Link: The Huffington Post
by Shaun Jacob Halper

image

Excerpt:
Today the California Supreme Court will decide if I and my community are worthy of equal rights under the law. If the court acts justly, it will order civil marriage equality imminently without stay, marking a milestone in gay and lesbian emancipation. But even if it does, our interminable fight continues: for national recognition of same-sex marriage and more immediately in the forthcoming California anti-gay marriage ballot initiative in November. We are still quite far from the endgame.

[...]

Many friends--both straight and gay--don't understand: why is marriage so important to me? Why can't I just settle for cohabitation or life partnership?

In short: my life is not the same without the prospect of marriage. I want marriage because I want a better kind of life. I want to enter into a contract with one person, with the approval and support of our community. I want to enter a new phase of my life; to be recognized; to go through the ordeal of determining if I'm ready; to become marriage material; to settle down; to establish a home; to have someone who is always there for me; to meet and address social expectations through a new social identity. I want to accept both marriage's burdens and its benefits. And I want marriage for a better kind of love.

A prevalent myth has it that the legalization of gay marriage is only a matter of time. I hear this quite a bit from gay activists and communal leaders who recommend patience, institution building, navigating the channels of K Street and the courts, and calculated political action. Certainly, this strategy has brought some important successes; its not hard to see why it may just be only a matter of time.

But I am 26 years old: just how much more time are we talking about? A decade? Two? Three? I wonder: will I see marriage at age 36? 46? 56? Will I live to see my wedding day?

Forgive me if I sound impatient, but I am. I do not want to have to wait for a generation of bigots to die out. I am sick of being afraid. I want the right to marry now!

[jw]

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

CA: Commentary--"My Thoughts on the Likely Anti Gay-Marriage November Ballot Initiative"

Link: The California Majority Report
by Chris Moore

Excerpt:

After learning that the November ballot will more than likely include a Constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, I was inspired to offer some personal, rather than just purely political, commentary on the issue. Of course I'm a proponent of gay marriage and vehemently oppose this possible ballot initiative, but simply saying "I support this" and "I oppose that" is not good enough. I'm a 22 year old, politically-inclined, gay Democrat working in the California Legislature. Shouldn't I have something fresh, personal, and touching to say about this issue? Well, here is my attempt:

I think I am part of a new era for LGBT folks. I have tons of gay and lesbian friends that experienced their teenage years in the 1970's, 80's, and 90's, and I think their experiences were significantly different than mine. The new millennium marked the beginning of high school for me as well as the beginning of my "coming out" process. However, it more importantly marked the beginning of an era where young gays and lesbians could grow up in an environment where their sexuality was not only accepted, but failed to be the sole factor by which other's judged them. In the following excerpt, writer Benoit Denizet-Lewis makes this same point and discusses its implications regarding gay marriage:

"Young gay men today are coming of age in a different time from the baby-boom generation of gays and lesbians who fashioned modern gay culture in this country -- or even from me, a gay man in his early 30s. ... Teenagers are coming out earlier and are increasingly able to experience their gay adolescence. That, in turn, has made them more likely to feel normal. Many young gay men don't see themselves as all that different from their heterosexual peers, and many profess to want what they've long seen espoused by mainstream American culture: a long-term relationship and the chance to start a family."

I am one of these young men and here is my story:

I'm from a small Northern California town and am the youngest of three children. I was class President; my Republican parents owned a farming business; I attended Catholic Mass every Sunday; and my football superstar older brother was literally in the newspaper weekly. The worst situation ever to come out in, right? Well, actually, no; it wasn't that big of a deal.

I know the phrasing "not that big of a deal" may come as a shock, as "coming out" is supposed to be a singular event marked with tearful drama, sleepless nights, family disownment, and every other horrible thing imaginable. These days, however, myself and others my age just don't get all that juicy drama. Don't misunderstand my playful banter -- I am extremely thankful for the courage exercised by my older LGBT comrades when their situations seemed grim. It is, I'm sure, because of their courage that my being gay has been that much easier.

So what happened when I told a bunch of people I was gay? What happened when my parents, grandparents, extended family, friends, friends' parents, and the whole town found out I was gay? Not a whole hell of a lot. I was still re-elected Class President, I still graduated with honors, I still ran in the "cool" circles and I still went to college. I was still a normal kid and accordingly got treated like it. I'd like to think I'm still that same normal kid, just a few years older and doing normal 20-something things rather than normal teenage things. These days, my "conservative" Catholic family thinks it unconscionable that I currently can not marry the person I love.

[...]

If a bunch of Catholic farmers in rural Northern California accept me with open arms and want to see me marry the person I love, I think almost anyone will favor marriage rights for same-sex couples, so long as they have that real person to whom they can attach the issue. Further, since the coming out process is increasingly becoming "not that big of a deal," more and more youth are coming-out and spreading the message of marriage equality just by being themselves -- normal everyday folks.

I can not describe how it feels to know that a group of people are trying to amend the State Constitution, the highest source of law in the state, to deny to me something many people describe as the best day of their life -- the day they get married. All I can say is that it hurts and continues to boggle my mind that people feel still feel this way.

If you have never asked yourself this, do so now: what if I couldn't marry the person I loved?

[jw]

Commentary: The Reality in Television

Link: The Huffington Post
by Neil G. Giuliano
image

Excerpt:

On Sunday, May 11, millions of viewers tuned in to watch the season finale of ABC's Emmy®-winning series Brothers & Sisters, which featured the wedding of two of its characters - Kevin Walker and Scotty Wandell. Beyond being a momentous event for the characters, this stood as the first such ceremony of two gay characters that are series regulars on network television. Such a historic event on a hit TV show might lead some to believe that it reflects the everyday reality for gay couples across this country. If it is on a TV, it must be real in some form, right?

As excited as I may be about this plot development, my work on behalf of the gay community compels me to remember the inequality that will exist for the California couple. Earlier this season, we saw Kevin's sister marry her boyfriend. Their wedding was one that granted them all the protections and responsibilities of marriage in the eyes of state and federal law; Kevin and Scotty's ceremony did not confer the same.

[...]

Even when a couple jumps through every legal hoop it still might not be enough. In Minnesota, Tim Reardon and his partner of six years, Eric Mann, thought they had done everything right. Before their 2001 commitment ceremony, they spent exorbitant sums of money on attorney fees to draft legal documents to ensure embarrassingly meager protections - a partnership agreement, a will, powers of attorney and health care directives. Yet, when Eric passed away from a brain tumor in 2007, Tim was twice denied the right to make decisions about Eric's remains, first by the medical examiner's office and then again when trying to make funeral arrangements.

These obstacles are the everyday reality for gay and lesbian couples across the country. Eight states have constitutional amendments prohibiting marriage for gay and lesbian people. More severely, 18 states have constitutional amendments that prohibit other forms of legal recognition of gay families in addition to marriage. Furthermore, we see opponents to marriage working actively to deny committed couples the ability to take care of one another with organized efforts continuing in states across the country.

And so as huge a fan as I am of Kevin and Scotty the television characters, I can't help but think of the millions of everyday Americans who do not have and are denied the opportunity from having the basic protections of marriage. Their commitment ceremony on Sunday was certainly one to celebrate for its historic nature as a media moment for our community, but it also serves as a far more extensive reminder of the legal protections not extended to couples in Kevin and Scotty's situation.

[jw]

Commentary: The Confusing State of Gay Marriage in New York and Elsewhere

Link: The Huffington Post
by Edward Stein

Excerpt:
On May 6, New York's highest court handed down the latest decision in battle for the legal recognition of same-sex relationships. Its decision in Martinez v. County of Monroe, which was misunderstood by several commentators, let stand a dramatic but little discussed February ruling of a lower appellate court that said New York will recognize same-sex marriages from other jurisdictions. For the moment, same-sex couples in New York have a possible path to full relationship recognition in their home state, an exciting development. At the same time, New York is left with a bizarre patchwork of recognition and rejection of same-sex unions. While two New York residents of the same sex cannot get married in New York, they may travel to Canada, Belgium, Spain, South Africa, or the Netherlands, where same-sex couples can marry, get married, and, when they come back to New York, the state will fully recognized their marriage from the foreign country. What a strange state of affairs: to have your relationship recognized at home, you have to first travel abroad!

New York is not alone in dealing with same-sex relationships in an odd way. A legally-recognized same-sex couple in one state will get no recognition in other states. Even states that recognize one type of same-sex relationship may not recognize other types. California, for example, allows same-sex couples to become domestic partners, a legal status which entitles them to almost all the rights of marriage, but they are not allowed to get married. The future of this two-track path to relationship recognition in California -- marriage for different-sex couples and domestic partnerships for same-sex couples -- is currently before the California Supreme Court and a decision is expected by early June. If, as some are predicting, the California Supreme Court decides that the California Constitution requires allowing same-sex couples to marry, then this will get rid of some -- but not all -- of the confusion around same-sex unions in California. Even if same-sex couples can get married in California, the United States government will still not recognize their legal union.

[...]

The situation in Michigan is also rather odd in light of a recent court decision on May 7, one day after the Martinez decision in New York. [...] In effect, the Michigan court dissolved a whole class of relationships in an instant.

[...]

Whatever happens in New York over the next few years and in California over the next few weeks, the patchwork of recognition and rejection of same-sex relationship throughout the country will continue for a while. This is a strange state of affairs, but for a while at least, we have to get used to this complicated legal landscape for same-sex couples.

 

[jw]

RI: Commentary--Gay equality at issue at the State House and beyond

Link: Providence Journal
by M. Charles Bakst

Excerpt:

When a House panel last week staged the annual charade of a hearing on marriage-equality legislation, the Rev. Eugene Dyszlewski, a minister who backs gay marriage, had the best description of State House life.

Did it remind him of Alice in Wonderland? No, he told me, it reminded him of the movie Groundhog Day.

Well, all the familiar State House earmarks were there: too many bills on the agenda, no set starting time, a room too small, a hearing late into the night.

As in other years, I expect the same-sex marriage bill to die of lawmaker indifference, or cowardice, or prejudice. But there is something different this time around — a bill to allow gay couples who wed elsewhere to get a divorce here. The sponsor, House Majority Leader Gordon Fox, says, “It’s a hell of a way to discuss it, that we’re discussing divorce before we discuss marriage, but maybe that’s a sign of our times.”

The bill was prompted by a state Supreme Court ruling that Family Court here lacked the jurisdiction to grant a divorce to two Providence women married in Massachusetts. One of those women, Cassandra Ormiston, testified for the bill last week, as did Louis Pulner, lawyer for her spouse, Margaret Chambers.

A frustrated Ormiston is planning to move to Massachusetts and get a divorce there, but when I asked if she’d stay in Rhode Island if Fox’s bill became law in the next few weeks, she replied, “I don’t want to move. If I see any glimmer of hope that my rights will be afforded me, I’ll be an extremely happy woman.”

Despite opposition from the Diocese of Providence, Fox, who is Catholic and gay, voices optimism the bill will pass, even amid the financial crisis that monopolizes legislator minds. “The budget is an important issue, but, obviously, it doesn’t mean we can’t multitask,” Fox says.

[...]

[jw]

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Commentary: "Gay marriage? You'll see flying manatees first"

Link: Orlando Sentinel
by Mike Thomas
image

Excerpt:

Among the many critical selections voters must make in November, Amendment 2 certainly is not one of them.
This is the rather silly referendum that would ban already-banned gay marriages.

[...]

Critics, including the former state director of the AARP, fear the amendment could penalize seniors who often live together rather than get married to avoid Social Security penalties.

It also threatens benefits for couples in domestic-partner relationships. This has happened with some state employees in Michigan after a gay-marriage ban was enacted there.

Supporters deny any such unintended consequences. But consider their tortured logic.

They say we need the amendment to guard against "activist judges" who somehow would legalize gay marriage despite an extensive body of law against it.

Yet these same judges somehow will magically deactivate their activism when it comes to interpreting this amendment.

Nobody can say for sure how the courts would interpret it.

And so why go somewhere when there is absolutely no need to do so?

[...]

The odds that this amendment will harm seniors or other unintended victims far exceed the odds of gay nuptials. Manatees will fly before gays can marry in Florida.

That said, polls show most people favor some kind of legal arrangement for gay couples. That's because most people are reasonable.

Call it a civil union or call it going steady. But the intent is to allow gay couples basic rights such as inheritance, hospital visitations, end-of-life decisions, funeral arrangements and so on. I remain amazed by conservatives who oppose even this. They condemn gays for promiscuity. Then they condemn them for wanting to settle down.

The group behind Amendment 2, called Florida4Marriage, says "our public policy should promote healthy and strong marriages."

If that is the goal, then maybe these people should reverse course and work on an amendment legalizing gay marriage.

The only state where gays can tie the knot, Massachusetts, has the lowest divorce rate in the nation, whereas Florida ranks in the top 10.

It's like our restriction on gay adoptions. Supporters of Amendment 2 say it will be enhanced by their initiative. Save the children!

But when you look at various measures of child welfare in the 50 states, we rank near the bottom while states with liberal gay-adoption laws are at the top.

There is a marriage problem in Florida as well as a child-welfare problem.

And neither has anything to do with gays.

[jw]

Monday, May 12, 2008

Commentary: Coming soon, the mother of all battles

Link: Citizen Crain
by Chris Crain

Excerpt:

“I think there is a good chance we are about to face what could well be the single most important battle we have ever seen in the LGBT rights movement.”

That’s how Matt Coles, Director of the ACLU LGBT Project describes the epic battle we will face should the California Supreme Court decide in our favor on the same sex marriage case later this month. This major conflict will result from the confluence of two events:

  1. The California Supreme Court strikes down state law limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples.
  2. Almost simultaneously, voters will weigh in on a ballot initiative sponsored by VoteYesMarriage.com to amend the state's constitution to outlaw same sex marriage -- undoing the Supreme Court decision.

[...]

So get ready for World War-like battle for gay rights that we have no choice but to fight as if our lives depended on it. Certainly our future does. It will involve the LGBT community throughout the nation. We can argue about whether marriage was the right issue at the right time. But we’re here now, and we have no choice but to fight as hard as we can. This isn’t just about marriage -- it's about ending legal discrimination against gay people on any issue you can think of.

[...]

A victory for gay marriage in the California Supreme Court would be an earth-shaking event because:

  1. The California Supreme Court is one of the most respected in the country. The New York Times recently ran a story saying it is easily the most influential state court in the country. If we win in California, things will be quite favorable for us in other states going forward on this issue. The California Supreme Court was most instrumental in ending this nation's anti-miscegenation laws by ruling them unconstitutional in 1948 and the rest of the nation soon followed. Let's hope a same sex marriage ruling follows a similar trajectory.
  2. California alone represents the 8th largest economy in the world and over 12% of the U.S. population. In short, what happens in California has tremendous influence economically, politically, socially and culturally. California has a long history of starting new ideas in the United States.

Our opponents know all this, so it will be a do-or-die situation for them. They will want to punish the court if they rule our way to send a message to other state courts not to do the same. If they lose the ballot initiative in California, they know the same sex marriage war is all but over.

Our side knows that if we sustain a court victory by the people in a ballot initiative, it will be a short time before gay rights victories spread across the country. So in a sense, the California battle will as crucial as the Battle of the Bulge in WWII. Both sides will throw everything they have at it because they know that the ultimate outcome of the gay rights war will turn on this battle.

[...]

Matt sums it up:

The prospect of a ballot initiative is scary. But we have no choice but to face it. And in facing it, we should keep one thing in mind. A win at the California Supreme Court, confirmed by the voters, followed up with a smart strategy building on the wins and persuading the public, would put in our grasp an end to legal discrimination (against gays) in less than a generation.

[jw]

Deb Price: Mich. court condones misleading ballot tactics

Link: Detroit News
by Deb Price

Excerpt:

When Michigan voters headed to the polls in 2004 to decide the fate of a proposed amendment to the state Constitution, they were told the following by its lead proponent:

"(This) has nothing to do with taking benefits away. This is about marriage between a man and a woman," said Marlene Elwell, campaign director of Citizens for the Protection of Marriage.

Citizens for the Protection of Marriage's Web site declared the group's purpose was "for defining marriage as the union of one man and one woman. Period."

And its brochure told voters: "This is not about rights or benefits or how people choose to live their life."

That sales pitch -- assuring voters that the ballot initiative was solely about limiting marriage to heterosexual couples -- reflected where voters stood. A poll by Lake Snell Perry found 70 percent of likely Michigan voters opposed banning domestic partnerships and civil unions, and two-thirds opposed banning public universities and cities from offering partner benefits.

However, Proposal 2 included language about not recognizing a "similar union for any purpose." After getting the proposal passed, Citizens for the Protection of Marriage turned around and argued the "marriage" amendment bans public employers from offering partner health benefits.

Sneaky? Yep. Deceptive? Yep.

And yet the Michigan Supreme Court outrageously ruled the amendment does bar such health benefits.

[...]

Since the anti-gay industry started trying to whip up folks about the supposed dangers posed by gay folks like me -- I'm blessed to be in a 23-year relationship with a woman I married the first chance I got in Canada in 2003 -- seven states have added marriage-only bans to their constitutions and 19 others have passed "marriage-plus" wording.

More fights are ahead: Florida votes this fall on a "marriage-plus" amendment. California voters likely will be asked whether to ban gay marriage. And Oregon voters may be asked whether to get rid of the new domestic partnership law.

Fortunately, the American Civil Liberties Union of Michigan is working with public employers to creatively redesign benefit programs so gay couples and their kids don't lose health insurance.

But the threats posed by this ruling remain very real. Even before the top court handed down that decision, a Michigan judge cited Proposal 2 in telling a lesbian in a custody fight over three children she legally adopted in Illinois with her ex-partner that she has no enforceable parenting rights in the state.

The Michigan Supreme Court's ruling is a damaging blow to the economically shaky state, not just gay couples.

Already, Lambda Legal, which recently created a "Safety Scale" of states as guidance for convention planners as well as gay couples planning to travel or relocate, put Michigan, once a leader on gay rights, in the worst class.

For those of us who care about Michigan, the damage this court ruling does to the state's reputation is, to put it mildly, discomforting.

[jw]

Friday, May 09, 2008

NY: Commentary--Marriage: No small matter

Link: The Hillsdale Independent
by Michael Kaufman

Excerpt:

I GET A FAIR amount of feedback on my columns, and every now and then someone puts me in my place. A person identified as Lauren wrote in response to my column about becoming chief marriage officer in Livingston. In that column, I wrote about two things I had to agree to if I wanted the position: If I agree to perform a wedding, I must do it no matter how incompatible I think the people are, and I can not marry people of the same gender. I wrote that I was okay with both of these conditions. 

I forgot what an important subject same sex marriage is to many people. Lauren politely took me to task on this. "Your new position is not to be taken lightly," she wrote, "but neither is the injustice that same sex marriages are illegal in New York and you had to formally agree not to do them." She went on to tell me that she and her partner of 25 years, along with many other couples, were married in New Paltz in 2004 and all the weddings were annulled by New York State.

[...]

Then came the real zinger: "If you thought about this before you quickly agreed, it would have been encouraging if you had so noted it in your column. If it didn't cross your mind, then there is no justice and there is no peace."

Guilty as charged: It did not cross my mind. But after reading her comments, I thought she was simply reading more into the column than was there, and that only those affected by the same sex marriage ban would share her views.

Once again I was wrong. I was at a party last weekend with a few of my regular readers. I relayed Lauren's comments to them. All the women (regardless of sexual orientation) agreed with Lauren, and at least 75% of the men admitted that although they hadn't given it much thought, they could see Lauren's point.

My friend Brette Popper, a married Upper West Side mother of two girls, explained it best. "To say that you are 'ok' with the illegality of marrying people of the same gender is not only to say that you are 'ok' with the law of New York State, but to say that you agree with the underlying prejudice that informs that position." 

I want to make my position clear. I am in favor of both gay marriage and gay civil unions. I believe that same-sex couples should have the same rights and privileges as heterosexual couples. But in my capacity as the chief marriage officer in the Town of Livingston, I agreed to follow the laws of the state and not marry people of the same gender. I hope that lends clarity to my position, and I will try to be more sensitive to how I write about issues like this in the future.

[jw]

MI: Opinion--The wrong kind of message

Link: The Morning Sun
by Eric Baerren, Sun Columnist

Excerpt:

Many of us remember 2004 as the year that presidential politics reached its low point. It was the year that the Swift Boat vets made the argument that it was more patriotic to avoid combat than it was to volunteer for it. It was also the year of Proposal 2.

Proposal 2 was the amendment to the state constitution that legally defined marriage as between a man and a woman. At the time, the argument was forwarded that it was an entirely pointless amendment, since state law already defined marriage. Undeterred, supporters first tried to get the thing through the state Legislature, and then took the opportunity to put it on the November ballot, a nice little wedge issue that nearly carried the state for George Bush.

You might, if your memory allows the recall of events from that period, that supporters of the ballot proposal said they weren’t concerned with same-sex partner benefits, but ensuring the sanctity of marriage. At a time with divorce rates hovering at the 50 percent mark, the real danger to marriage was the prospect that how it is represented in civic society might be broadened.

[...]

Here is the thing that concerns me. The state is currently trying to right its ship, economically speaking. It is hoping to become a center for research and development in clean energy and newer, more efficient automobiles. As a citizen of this state with a vested interest (my vested interest is currently in kindergarten), I hope that this state can succeed in doing that.

To do that, the state needs to do more than simply offer incentives to businesses to locate here. It also needs to recruit the raw materials necessary to make a go of it. That means attracting young, intelligent, educated, creative thinkers who will provide the chief raw materials - smarts - to make this happen.

That means convincing those same people that Michigan is preferable a place to live in than, say, Florida or California where people aren’t bundled up like the Michelin Man for half the year. It’s not an argument that we can win in terms of weather, so it’s something we need to win in other terms.

This brings us back to Proposal 2. We aren’t exactly in a position these days to be choosy about who helps us turn the state’s economy around. Sending a message that Michigan is a state that embraces intolerance not only turns away the object of our intolerance, which is bad enough, but also those who are sympathetic to them. Those happen to be the very same young, educated, creative thinkers who we think are necessary to provide the raw materials a knowledge-based economy requires.

The sad thing about Proposal 2 - well, one of the many sad things - is that ultimately it represents an attempt to hold back a river with a pair of hands. Society is changing, and the younger you are, the more likely you are going to be accepting of homosexuality. Eventually, the constitutional amendment that gave us Proposal 2 will wither, probably killed by federal action. The chance to do something creative - address people’s concerns about the institution of marriage while also expanding human liberty - will have passed. And, it won’t be the judiciary who comes off as arrogant; but those people who sought to address the problem by stuffing it back into the closet. They will also come off looking petty, small-minded and ultimately self-defeating.

Eric Baerren is a Morning Sun columnist. He can be found on the Internet at www.michiganliberal.com and www.baerrenblog.blogspot.com and can be reached at ebaerren@gmail.com

[jw]

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Commentary: Welcome to the Age of the "Insurance Card Marriage"

Link: The Huffington Post
by Terrance Heath

Excerpt:

Forget green cards. A growing number of Americans are getting hitched to get health insurance.

Some people marry for love, some for companionship, and others for status or money. Now comes another reason to get hitched: health insurance.

In a poll released today, 7% of Americans said they or someone in their household decided to marry in the last year so they could get healthcare benefits via their spouse.

"It's a small number but a powerful result, because it shows how paying for healthcare is reflected not only in family budgets but in life decisions," said Drew E. Altman, president of the Kaiser Family Foundation, which commissioned the survey as part of its regular polling on healthcare.

...What surprised researchers was that such costs had become a factor in marriage decisions. "We should have asked about divorce," said Altman, joking.

Those who cited health insurance as a factor in deciding to marry tended to have modest incomes. About 6 in 10 were in households making less than $50,000 a year, said Mollyann Brodie, who directs Kaiser's opinion research. They also were younger, with 4 in 10 between 18 and 34.

Maybe they should have asked about divorce. They'd have found that at least some people stay married for the sake of health insurance.

Whether people get married or stay married for the sake of health insurance, who can blame them?

[...]

A while back, I asked "Is Health Care a Gay Issue?", and at the risk of repeating myself, it becomes one at the point where health insurance is linked to marital status, or at least it should.

And now, the Michigan Supreme Court ruling only underscores the importance.

Local governments and state universities in Michigan can't offer health insurance to the partners of gay workers, the state Supreme Court ruled Wednesday.

The court ruled 5-2 that Michigan's 2004 ban against gay marriage also blocks domestic-partner policies affecting gay employees at the University of Michigan and other public-sector employers.

The decision affirms a February 2007 appeals court ruling.

Up to 20 public universities, community colleges, school districts and local governments in Michigan have benefit policies covering at least 375 gay couples. After the appeals court ruled, universities and local governments rewrote their policies to try to comply with the gay marriage ban -- so the effect of Wednesday's decision is unclear.

The new policies no longer specifically acknowledge domestic partnerships but make sure "other qualified adults," including gay partners, are eligible for medical and dental care. The adults have to live together for a certain amount of time, be unmarried, share finances and be unrelated.

The volley of lawsuits is likely to continue, since the Michigan law is one of those that easily be read as prohibiting the official recognition of "similar unions" as well as awarding benefits to those "similar unions." (Essentially, same-sex couples could get around this by creating some form of relationship that bears not so much as a passing resemblance to marriage.) In the meantime, there are a lot more same-sex couples in Michigan with one partner who just lost his/her health insurance. Not that they can't get health insurance for their partners. They'll just pay more for it than the married heterosexual couple next door. That's all.

[...]

Health care has cropped up in national political debate again, as Sen. John McCain debuted his health care plan, and the conventional wisdom is that the McCain plan would raise health care costs and generally and already bad system worse. Bill Scher has posted a great blog round-up that includes my favorite assesment of the McCain plan: "Oliver Willis and Masson's Blog sum up what McCain's plan means for you in one word: Pray."

You can bet that if it would make things worse for heterosexual couples, it would do our families even less good.

The Democratic presidential contenders, on the other hand, have plans that pretty much resemble the Health Care for America plan.

Hillary Rodham Clinton, Barack Obama and John Edwards have been sniping at each other for months over healthcare, but there's one thing the top Democratic presidential candidates agree on: Americans of all ages should have the choice of buying a government-run plan modeled on Medicare.

The idea, which would set up a competition between a new government plan and private insurance programs, has been overshadowed by the political horse race. But it's one of the most far-reaching and controversial proposals for making health insurance more affordable and more widely available.

The government now guarantees access to healthcare only for seniors and the disabled through Medicare and for the poor mainly through Medicaid. Under the proposals being advanced by Clinton, Obama and Edwards, the government would offer coverage for middle-class workers and their families, with benefits comparable to those now provided for federal employees and members of Congress.

Participation in the government plan would be voluntary, but the approach sparks widely differing reactions.

Equality, for our families is and may continue to be hard to come by much of the time, and hard won where it does exist, while we are in the process of building our lives and our families together; weaving our families' destinies together with those of our community and our country, much as we weave our own together as families. We can walk down the aisle just like any other couples, but may continue for some time walk back up the aisle with fewer benefits and protections than other couples.

But neither we nor they should need to walk down the aisle for the sake of having health insurance. Health Care for All isn't a "gay health bill," and it doesn't single out particular groups for inclusion or exclusion. It does, however, offer a way to provide all Americans with health insurance, married or not. It would treat my family the same as the family down the street, with two legally married parents, because its benefits are not conditional on the basis our marital status or anyone else's. We'd get them whether we're married or not, and whether we can marry or not.

Well, that's a kind of equality, and one that appears to be good for everybody.

Or, to put it another way, for all.

[jw]

Commentary: The Pope, Gays, and World Peace

Link: Independent Gay Forum
by Dale Carpenter

Excerpt:

First published in the Bay Area Reporter, May 8, 2008


The recent visit of Pope Benedict XVI to the United States is cause to reflect on what his papacy has meant so far for gay people. There is some good, but much bad and ugly, to report.

[...]

During his U.S. visit, Benedict spoke of the priest scandal in a way that differentiated between homosexuals and pedophiles. "I would not speak in this moment about homosexuality but pedophilia, which is another thing," he said. "We would absolutely exclude pedophiles from the sacred ministry.”

This statement accomplished two important things. First, it reaffirmed that while pedophiles would be expelled from the priesthood, homosexual priests would not be. Second, it repudiated the association of homosexuality with pedophilia, an old and harmful defamation against gay people that has been used to justify much discrimination.

It is significant that a man of Benedict’s standing would separate the two, while so many who admire him do not. Despite his religious objection to homosexual acts, Benedict has not ignored all we have learned from the study of homosexuality. He recognizes that homosexual orientation and pedophilia are distinct phenomena. He deserves credit for his willingness to say so publicly.

That’s what makes his implied, but extravagant, criticism of gay marriage so disappointing. According to the Institute for Marriage and Public Policy, a conservative think tank opposed to gay marriage, Benedict has spoken publicly about marriage 111 times. In these speeches, he has connected the traditional definition of marriage to preventing violence, maintaining legal order, and even preserving world peace.

In his January 1 World Day of Peace message, Benedict said: “Everything that serves to weaken the family based on the marriage of a man and a woman . . . constitutes an objective obstacle on the path to peace.”

Elsewhere he has bemoaned the “growing crisis of the family, which is based on the indissoluble bond of marriage between a man and a woman.” When this “truth about man is subverted or the foundation of the family is undermined, peace itself is threatened and the rule of law is compromised, leading inevitably to forms of injustice and violence.”

The implication is that gay marriage, along with many other modern developments, will contribute to human catastrophe.

Throughout history, gay people have been blamed for everything from the fall of the Roman Empire, to the Black Plague, to every hurricane, tornado, and earthquake that has ever struck civilization. Add global destabilization to the list.

Benedict is correct that weakening families undermines social stability, with many potential harmful consequences. But to accept Benedict’s conclusion, we would have to believe that gay marriage will somehow hurt heterosexual families. Like many others, he seems to bundle gay marriage with a miasma of genuinely harmful trends like illegitimacy and rampant divorce.

The problem is that there is no good reason to indulge that fear. There is no evidence yet that gay marriage has undermined traditional families or contributed to violence, lawlessness, and war in countries like Canada, the Netherlands, and Spain. It is no more plausible to think gay marriage will produce cataclysms than to believe (as expressed by the late Jerry Falwell) that accepting “the gays and the lesbians” contributed to 9/11.

Benedict’s concerns about gay marriage are not strictly theological ones. They are empirical, testable by evidence and experience, and thus subject to reasonable criticism outside his faith tradition. Day by day, year by year, they become harder to take seriously.

[jw]

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Commentary: The 'Real' New Gay Marriage

Link: Gay Wired
by Ross von Metzke

Love it or hate it, the New York Times Sunday magazine article, "Young Gay Rites," has engendered much thoughtful comment.

Excerpt:

I always joke with friends that I was a divorcee at 24.

Gay marriage isn’t legal in California—and, truth be told, there was no custody dispute over pets, no divvying up of furniture. We didn’t even live together… next door to each other, actually, because I always joked my dream home would be hacienda style—my wing, his wing and a courtyard for us to co-mingle.

But for three years, every birthday, vacation, movie night and family function was spent together. When Alan broke his knee, I shuttled him back and forth to physical therapy appointments for three months. When my friend Charles went MIA for 28 hours after the twin towers fell in Manhattan, he sat on the phone every hour on the hour while I worked, trying to get through to someone who might know how he was doing.

Ours was a real partnership—a monogamous partnership, I should add, which is a rarity for gay men in their early 20s. And at some point, admittedly, it became a partnership that failed—whether it was my resentment over staying in San Diego for him or his frustration that living next door to each other just didn’t cut it anymore, I’ll never know.

But we parted friends—amicably and with a hug—and to this day, I can safely say my ex and I have a better relationship than most former couples I know.

And now that I have a new boyfriend, I’d like to think I learned a few things the first time around. No marriage yet, we’re still in the early stages. But between nights of take out and a movie, me helping him shop for a car and him giving me advice on eliminating my credit card debt by the end of the year, we’re definitely past the honeymoon phase—and unlike couples who use that to suggest the romance has died, that couldn’t be further from the truth. I mean it in the best possible way.

What we aren’t, however, is Norman fucking Rockwell… we’re not Ivy League, bucking for country club membership or any other idealistic relationship stereotype—which is probably what bothered me so much about a recent cover story in The New York Times Magazine, documenting what writer Benoit Denizet-Lewis dubs “the new gay marriage.”

[...]

I don’t begrudge anyone their happiness—that would be far too cynical of me. And there is truth in the saying that “every relationship is different.”

But in the fundamental building blocks of what it takes to make a relationship work, no amount of face paint or photo shopping for one of the nation’s best respected news sources changes the fact that relationships take work—and at least through the images and the bulk of the couples profiled here, that seems to be the one thing nobody wants to stop and think about.

Gay couples want to be treated like everyone else, but that doesn’t mean we want to assimilate—especially to a version of marriage that went out with Leave it to Beaver and Quaaludes. Painting the picture that gay is great for all of America to see isn’t normal—it’s stereotypical, with the dinner parties and the blatant disregard for a dose of reality. And haven’t we endured the stereotypes long enough?

For a better representation of a gay wedding, try watching Brothers & Sisters, where the subject of gay marriage was brought up because one half of the Scotty/Kevin power couple doesn’t have health insurance. Those are real issues facing gay couples—not which argyle sweater goes best with the patio furniture.

Nice try, bad execution. For now, it might not make for a priceless photo op, but I'm perfectly content balancing video night with evenings out at the bars with our friends.

Squabbling and bickering included.

[jw]

Dan Savage: How Do You Stop an Anti-Gay Marriage Amendment?

Link: Slog | The Stranger
by Dan Savage

By asking straight people to sacrifice something to protect the sacred sanctity of the institution of marriage.

Earlier this week the state legislature in Pennsylvania was preparing to place an anti-gay marriage amendment to the Pennsylvania state constitution before voters in that state. Then a state senator, Vincent Fumo (D-Philadelphia), introduced an amendment-to-the-amendment that wound up sinking PA’s proposed anti-gay marriage amendment.

His amendment would “outlaw the dissolution of most marriages in Pennsylvania,” he said in a news release. That would mean there would be few legal ways for the divorce of a married couple, a man and a woman.

Mr. Fumo, who leaves the Senate on Nov. 30, said the stated goal of Senate Bill 1250 is to “protect the sanctity of the marital institution” by defining a legal marriage as only between one man and one woman.

The next logical step, according to Mr. Fumo, is to also outlaw divorces

The state senate in Pennsylvania is controlled by Republicans, and the Pittsburgh Post-Gazzette reports that Fumo’s amendment didn’t have a chance. But Fumo’s amendment would have to be debated, and PA’s family values crusaders didn’t want to engage in a debate about divorce—currently a purely heterosexual institution in PA—and how straight divorce undermines the totally sacred sanctity of the institution of marriage. It’s way easier for sanctimonious lawmakers to point their ring fingers at same-sex marriage, which is currently illegal in PA (if not unconstitutional), and blame people that have done no harm to the sacred sanctity of the institution of marriage for all the damage done by heterosexuals.

You know, folks behind anti-gay marriage amendments like to accuse gay people of seeking to “redefine marriage.” But, as I wrote in The Commitment, it’s actually straight people that have redefined marriage (mostly in good ways—women are no longer property, for instance). But here’s another straight redefinition of marriage to add to the list: An institution that most straight people weren’t interested in defending until one day they realized they might have to share it.

[jw]

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Opinion: On gay rights, it's good to be out of step

Link: Baltimore Sun
by Leonard Pitts

Excerpt:

The Rev. James Lawson is out of step with modern Christianity.

Take gay marriage. Speaking in support of a proposed state constitutional ban on same sex unions in Florida, one Rev. Hayes Wicker of First Baptist Church in Naples, Fla., was recently quoted by the Naples Daily News as saying, "This is a tremendous social crisis, greater even than the issue of slavery."

As asinine as that remark is, it is perfectly in step with much of modern Christianity, which has spent years demonizing gay men and lesbians. And then there's Mr. Lawson, who spoke last weekend at the 10th anniversary conference of Soulforce, a group that fights church-based homophobia. Few things could be more "out" of step. Mr. Lawson, you may know, is an icon of the civil rights movement; it was he who invited the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. to Memphis to support the striking sanitation workers. He sees his longtime involvement with Soulforce as part of the same struggle. "The human rights issue is not a single issue," he told me recently. "It is about all humankind. And all humankind has been endowed with certain inalienable rights."

[...]

Mr. Lawson finds the antipathy appalling. "To unite with white Christian fundamentalism like Pat Robertson is an absolute disgrace. For black people to pretend that kind of Christian fundamentalism, which justified slavery and justifies racism, is a colleague in anything is to be blind to the realities that we're facing. We who have suffered and do suffer should be the most sensitive to the suffering of others. We don't want this undeserved suffering put on us, and we should therefore, clearly, not participate in putting such suffering on others. We ought to know better."

Mr. Lawson knows his brand of Christianity is not the kind that nowadays dominates political discourse. Does it trouble him to be out of step?

"No. A part of the religion of Jesus is to be on the right side of history and the right side of God, especially when others are on the wrong side."

Those who preach intolerance "are the ones out of step. You have to be patient, and they'll catch up. Many of the black pastors were outraged when King, in '67, declared against the Vietnam War. Well, now, great numbers of the clergy are aware that war is a violation of the gospel of Jesus, and they are opposed to the Iraq war. They caught up."

Some did, at least. Ours is still an era wherein war, hatred and intolerance often wear a clerical collar. As Mr. Lawson puts it, "Much of Christianity in the United States has been more influenced by violence and sexism and racism and greed than by the teachings of Jesus."

If that seems a radical thing to say, well, Mr. Lawson has no apologies. "I am a follower of Jesus," he explains. "That's what I've called myself for decades. And that is a radical faith that refuses to define any human being or group of human beings as being outside God's grace."

James Lawson is out of step with modern Christianity.

Thank God someone is.

 

Leonard Pitts Jr. is a columnist for The Miami Herald.

[jw]

Monday, May 05, 2008

Pam Spaulding: More bleating about marriage equality's threat to religious liberty [with editor's note]

Link: Pam's House Blend

Editor's Note: Below, Pam Spaulding notes one post out of a growing symphony of opponents who seek to alarm religious adherents about the purported threat to their freedoms posed by marriage equality. (For a recent overwrought example, see David Benkof on Maggie Gallagher's blog.)

Reference to the Ocean Grove, New Jersey boardwalk pavilion controversy is common. Usually omitted from the story, however, are crucial details. In this case, opponents of the freedom to marry leverage such controversies to attack access to marriage (or civil unions, or domestic partnerships) for same-sex couples.

But the root of the controversy lies more deeply, in this case over control of property that sits on public land and received a tax exemption based on the Camp Meeting's assurance that the facility was open to all segments of the public on an equal basis -- which turned out to be untrue.

Such disputes are common throughout the nation, not because gay couples seek the freedom to marry, but also at many of the interfaces between religion and broader public purposes -- taxation, land use, permit processes, noise ordinances, parking, traffic, and so on. Gays' freedom to marry is but one frictional point of many.

Seeking to lay this at the feet of same-sex couples and to link it to access to marriage is a clear effort at diversion. (As is reference to controversies outside the U.S., in areas that have no First Amendment protections for religion and speech.)

Another common reference is to the troubles encountered by Catholic Charities of Boston when it decided to end all of its adoption services rather than comply with a state requirement that gays be considered as adoptive parents on the same basis as others. But what are we to make of the fact that Catholic Charities of San Francisco was able to cooperate with other groups to find a way to place needy children after it found itself subject to California's anti-discrimination laws?:

San Francisco Chronicle, August 27, 2006 - In an adroit end-run against a Vatican ban on granting adoptions to same-sex couples, Catholic Charities of San Francisco will launch a new project in coming weeks that experts say will lead to the placement of hundreds of foster children around the state every year.

While the agency will no longer directly place children in homes, it will provide staff and financial resources to connect needy children to adoptive parents, expanding from 25 placements a year to assisting in the adoptions of as many as 800 children annually, say those involved in the program.

The move averts a conflict between state anti-discrimination laws and church doctrine, which considers the placement of children with gay or lesbian couples to be "gravely immoral.''

"The Lord works in mysterious ways,'' quipped San Francisco Supervisor Bevan Dufty, a gay Jew who was a consultant to Catholic Charities while the adoption strategy was being crafted.

"In the interests of the children and for prospective parents, this will be a great improvement,'' says Dufty, who is having a child in October with a lesbian friend. "Two years from now, we will look back and see what a big step this was in getting children placed.''

Rychlak and the other opponents of the freedom to marry would serve their communities better by asking why Catholic Charities in California could do what Catholic Charities in Massachusetts could not: work collaboratively and leave all parties whole.

Attitude seems to make a difference. And finding commonalities and forging new alliances between former opponents is certainly more likely to lead to any refinements in laws that would minimize (but of course never eliminate) clashes of interest. As same-sex couples become more integrated into their communities, opportunities for cooperation will abound. The question is, will those now in active opposition to these couples' freedoms be able to shift to a stance that maximizes the common good? 

Excerpt from Pam Spaulding:

I will give Ronald Rychlak props for one thing -- bringing the objection of religious institutions to gay and lesbian couples marrying to the bottom $$$ line

Regardless of what it is called, legal sanctioning of homosexual relationships creates a host of unintended consequences and constitutes a serious threat to religious liberty. 

Consider what happened in Massachusetts in 2004: Justices of the peace who refused to preside over same-sex unions due to moral or religious objections were summarily fired. Since same-sex unions were entitled to be treated the same as traditional marriages, this refusal was discrimination and a firing offense. 

What about a priest or minister who similarly refuses to preside at such ceremonies? Obviously the state can't fire such people, but it is easy to foresee other sanctions -- such as loss of tax benefits -- being imposed on churches.

The piece cites the NJ complaint by a lesbian couple who wanted to use a Methodist ministry-owned pavilion for their civil union ceremony. While it was allowed to ban same-sex couples, the Garden State revoked the ministry's tax-free status. 

These people fail to realize that the government doesn't have to subsidize, through tax-breaks, a church's ability to discriminate. More whining: 

If homosexual marriages or civil unions are the equivalent of traditional marriages, you can't discriminate. If you do, at the very least you put your government benefits at risk. 

This is the same rationale that was used by the Supreme Court in 1983 to uphold stripping Bob Jones University of its tax-exempt status due to its racial policies.

[jw]

Commentary: Gaying Straight Marriage

Link: Columbia Spectator
by Ira Stup

Excerpt:

[...]

The thought of not being able to completely celebrate the happiness of my sisters, friends, and parents on a day important to them feels uncomfortable and depressing, if not outright selfish. But the fact remains: they want to celebrate their “big day,” and there are people in their lives, like myself, who are barred from doing the same. I am prevented from marrying at all, and LGBT people are denied the respect and rights given to married couples when we explore non-traditional relationship choices. How can these family members and friends purport to care about me and the struggle of other queer people when they participate in what is probably the most public symbol of heterosexual expression at my exclusion?

The matter is not much different from certain aspects of racial privilege. How can I use social, political, and economic privileges I receive as a white person when my black friend may have no access to these same privileges? While sometimes with race these privileges are not legally codified and can be harder to identify, the privilege of marriage isn’t even remotely obscure: LGBT people are openly discriminated against as they are prevented from receiving these social and legal protections.

From the clear and noticeable privileges of marriage for heterosexuals lie some powerful ways of making practical change. One of the most meaningful things which an ally of any community can do is to use their privilege to address social inequality. In this case, marriage affords a couple a forum to express and celebrate themselves. And if they care about LGBT issues, they have an obligation to all the people in the room who have either been hurt by heterosexual marriage norms or who cannot get married themselves. If my sisters, my friends, and my parents take my life seriously and consider their participation in an institution which discriminates against queer people, they must speak up. I cannot be fully present if they don’t recognize my diminished presence in their space.

There are many ways couples can use their marriage privilege to help practically make the institution more equitable. Every couple can make a statement at their wedding ceremony about their desire to let all people, LGBT and not, gain marriage rights. They can consider the language and norms their ceremony may reinforce. Their vows can rejoice in the transcendence of love beyond strict gender and sexual lines. If they have a religious leader, he or she can speak of equality from a religious and spiritual perspective. The couple can ask guests to donate to a marriage equality cause in addition to getting them a traditional gift.

These gestures and others help to not only recognize the inequality inherent in a heterosexual marriage, but to send an influential and symbolical message about the need to change an institution in which they are partaking. Even more powerful is that message being delivered at the most public and emblematic component of marriage, the ceremony itself. Neither academic discussions nor these gestures of change will necessarily transform the situation for LGBT people on any large scale. But the constant work of thoughtful people­—queer or not—to recognize the injustices and pain faced by the people around them and commitment to making change can indeed begin the process. I sincerely hope this column has had some small part in doing just that.

Ira Stup is a student in the School of General Studies majoring in American studies.The Problem With Normal runs alternate Mondays.

[jw]

Saturday, May 03, 2008

FL: Opinion--"On gay marriage issue, at least we can listen"

Link: Tallahassee Democrat
by Sharon Kant-Rauch

Excerpt:

A friend recently asked whether I thought there were many fence-sitters out there regarding the marriage amendment.

"Probably not," I immediately thought. The amendment, which will be voted on in November, says marriage should be only between one man and one woman. Most people already know how they stand on this one. No Hillary-vs.-Obama drama here.

Still, I'd like to make a suggestion to those supporting the amendment: Watch the documentary "Inlaws & Outlaws."

Yes, it's definitely a pro-gay film, directed by Drew Emery and the True Stories Project out of Seattle, but don't let that stop you. You won't hear rants about civil rights or see religious folks being caricatured a la Michael Moore.

You'll just hear people talk about their lives, their loves, the day they fell in love — both gay and straight. It's funny and varied and at times poignant. At the All Saints Cinema, where I saw it Saturday night, the silence sometimes was palpable because, for a second, everyone stopped breathing and took in the words of the person on the screen.

[...]

Let me share something with you. As a reporter for more than two decades and a religion editor for two years, I have sometimes talked with people who, at the end of the conversation, asked me about my "relationship with the Lord." In fact, someone asked me that just hours before I watched "Inlaws & Outlaws."

It's the kind of question that, in years past, set my teeth on edge. I felt it was arrogant and patronizing, and I knew I was in for the whole Christian spiel.

But somewhere along the way, something shifted. The more I talked with people, particularly about their faith lives, the more I realized that most folks were not being smug. To them, this was the difference between death and eternal life — as if I were in a stormy sea and they were tossing me a lifeline. They might not save me, but they sure as heck were going to try.

Who could be mad at that?

I also came to find their question courageous. They must have known that they risked a sneer or a funny look. But they took the chance anyway.

True, after the conversation I never changed my mind or my beliefs. I remained the agnostic I used to be or the Jew I later became and never felt compelled to accept Jesus as my savior. But somehow I felt the conversation was worthwhile — one person talking to another about something of vital importance.

It's in that same spirit that I invite the pro-amendment folks to watch this documentary. You probably won't change your mind. But know that, to those of us in the gay community, this is important stuff.

We just want to tell you our stories.

[jw]

Friday, May 02, 2008

VT: Editorial--Gay Marriage Report

Link: WPTZ Plattsburgh

Excerpt:

It seemed a pretty sure bet.

Vermont's commission on same-sex marriage was going to go around the state, listen to folks who believed the state should have same-sex marriage, and then issue a report saying that's exactly what ought to happen.

Surprise. It didn't.

What did happen is that the commission delivered an open-minded, thoughtful and objective report. Strong feelings about keeping Vermont's Civil Unions policies in place and equally strong feelings about the need to make marriage the law in the state were both given voice.

We're pleased to see that. We think discussion and dialogue are important.

Evidently Governor Jim Douglas doesn't. The Governor said he thought---quote---"it's not in the state's best interest to reopen these wounds."

We disagree. We think talking about issues is healthy, not harmful.

We hope the Governor will re-think his stance and be as open-minded and thoughtful as the commission.

[...]

Aired by President/General Manager, Paul A. Sands

[jw]

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Gay Moralist: After dialogue, what?

Link: PrideSource
by John Corvino

Excerpt:

Back in the old days, there were those who supported gay rights and those who opposed them - vocally. There was also a third group whose opposition was so deep that they objected even to discussing the issue. For them, to debate gay rights would be to dignify depravity, and depravity merits chilly silence, not invitations to dialogue.

In the last decade or so, a fourth group has appeared mirroring the third. This group's support for gay rights runs so deep that they object even to discussing the issue. For them, to debate gay rights would be to dignify bigotry, and bigotry merits chilly silence, not invitations to dialogue.

While the above sketch is somewhat simplistic, I think it captures an important shift in the gay-rights debate. Increasingly, one finds people on both sides who object not merely to their opponents' position but even to engaging that position. Why debate the obvious, they ask. Surely anyone who holds THAT position must be too stubborn, brainwashed or dumb to reason with.

The upshot is that supporters and opponents of gay rights are talking to each other less and less. This fact distresses me.

It distresses me for several reasons. First, it lulls gay-rights advocates into a complacency where we mistake others' silence for acquiescence. Then we are shocked--shocked!--when, for example, an Oklahoma state representative says that gays pose a greater threat than terrorism - and her constituents rally around her. Think Sally Kern will have a hard time getting re-elected? Think again.

It distresses me, too, because dialogue works. Not always, and not easily, but it makes a difference. Indeed, ironically enough, healthy dialogue about our issues helped move many people from the "supportive-but-open-to-discussion" camp to the "so-supportive-I-can't-believe-we're-discussing-this" camp.

[...]

There are those who find my emphasis on dialogue naive. As someone who has spent sixteen years traveling the country speaking and debating about homosexuality and ethics, I'm well aware of dialogue's limitations.

Yet I'm also frequently reminded of its power. Recently Aquinas College, a Catholic school in Grand Rapids, cancelled a lecture I was scheduled to give because of concerns about my opposition to Catholic teaching on homosexuality. Students angered by the cancellation arranged to have me speak off-campus. The event drew hundreds of audience members, including some who had been critical of my initial invitation. The next day I learned that one of those critics, after hearing my talk, had begun advocating bringing me to campus next year. Over time, such conversions can have a huge impact.

Then there are those who wonder whether the silence I'm lamenting really is a problem at all. My Aquinas cancellation suggests that it is: intentionally or not, the cancellation sent students the message that this topic is literally unspeakable. But the problem is by no means limited to one side. Last year I did a same-sex marriage debate (with Glenn Stanton of Focus on the Family) at another Catholic college. A week before the event, my host told me that a student was trying to organize a protest. "Because he doesn't want a gay-rights speaker on a Catholic campus?" I asked.

"No, because he doesn't want your opponent here," she answered. The student thought that opposition to same-sex marriage should not be dignified with a hearing. On a Catholic campus!

That student, like the rest of us, would do well to recall the words of John Stuart Mill. In his 1859 classic On Liberty Mill argued that those who silence opinions - even false ones - rob the world of great gifts:

"If the opinion is right, they are deprived of the opportunity of exchanging error for truth; if wrong, they lose, what is almost as great a benefit, the clearer perception and livelier impression of truth, produced by its collision with error."

The moral of the story? Let's keep talking.

 

John Corvino, Ph.D. teaches philosophy at Wayne State University in Detroit. Read more of his work at www.johncorvino.com

[jw]

Australia: Opinion--Same sex must mean same rights

Link: The Age
by Rodney Croome

Excerpt:

Imagine risking your life for your country in the armed services, only to discover that if you die your partner will receive no compensation or pension? Imagine not being able to fully provide for your partner after your death because you are not permitted to name him or her as the beneficiary of your superannuation?

Imagine needing to place your partner in aged care only to discover that because you're not officially a couple, and your home isn't exempt from the assets test, you'll have to sell the place where you live to pay the fees? This is the world of financial disadvantage and insecurity that Australia's same-sex couples inhabit.

Not all of us suffer this level of trauma, but the extent of discrimination across tax, health care, workplace entitlements and social security means none of us escape it.

Take the Medicare rebate: same-sex partners and their children must outlay much more on medical fees to qualify for it because they are not considered a family unit. This is also the case with workplace entitlements such as carer's leave and maternity leave. In more than 100 areas of federal law, imposts like this add up to what is effectively a tax on loving someone of the same sex. This discrimination also adversely affects the many thousands of Australian children cared for by same-sex couples. Their families are not only worse off financially but are treated by the law as if they do not exist. But thanks to yesterday's pledge by the Federal Government to a timetable for removing discrimination against same-sex de facto couples in federal law, this financial disadvantage and legal invisibility will soon be just a memory.

[...]

Naturally the recognition of same-sex de facto couples raises the issue of same-sex marriage, a reform both major parties oppose. Six countries, including Catholic Spain, allow same-sex couples to marry. Many more allow civil unions, including our neighbour New Zealand and several Eastern European and South American countries. Australians are already entering civil unions in Tasmania, and will do so in Victoria later this year.

Yet the Federal Government refuses to recognise overseas unions, enact a national scheme or allow the ACT to have its own civil partnerships scheme. Same-sex couples who have solemnised their unions overseas, or want to do the same here, are left wondering why an official declaration of love and commitment is so hard for the Federal Government to countenance.

They are rightly exasperated by the Government's failure to justify continued discrimination in marriage beyond declaring "that's the way it's always been". Slavery and denying women the vote were also hallowed traditions until fairness prevailed. Indeed, in centuries past the second-class status of blacks and women was sealed by laws that denied them the right to marry the partner of their choice in much the same way same-sex partners are denied that right today.

But debate on equal marriage should not be allowed to overshadow the changes now being proposed. This is because there are important details yet to be resolved. For example, will same-sex couples involved in property or custody disputes have access to the federal Family Court? This has been opposed by some religious groups. But it is preferable to the current situation, with same-sex partners and their children relegated to more expensive and less user-friendly state Supreme Courts. Will the Federal Government give full and equal recognition to partners who are in Tasmanian and Victorian civil unions? Tasmanian registered partners are automatically granted the same rights as married couples in state law, and civil union status when they travel to countries such as Britain, yet they have no standing in Australian national law.

[...]

The urgency of this reform is too great to be jeopardised by quibbling and mean-spiritedness. Unqualified bipartisanship will send out an important anti-discrimination message, a message that Australians are desperate to hear because it will echo what they already feel.

A decade ago I was a criminal in my home state of Tasmania because I was in a same-sex relationship. Now my same-sex relationship is about to have near-equal entitlements at a state and national level. For all that remains undone and unresolved, that is an important achievement of which all Australians can be proud.

 

Rodney Croome is a spokesman for the Australian Coalition for Equality.

[jw]

CA: Opinion--"Gay-marriage turning point?"

Link: Ventura County Star
by Timm Herdt

Excerpt:

If it is true, as gay-rights advocates have proclaimed for years, that obtaining equal rights for gays and lesbians is the civil rights issue of our time, then 2008 in California is shaping up as a potential turning point for the movement.

In early June, the state Supreme Court will issue its decision on whether gays have a constitutional right to marry. Although it seems unlikely that this rather conservative court — all but one of the seven justices was appointed by a Republican governor — will find such a right to marriage per se, it's a good guess that the court will acknowledge that same-sex couples have the civil right to enter into committed relationships sanctioned by the state.

Maybe the court will go further, but it will almost certainly go at least that far.

[...]

Come November, it appears that civil-rights advocates will have the opportunity to build upon that foundation in the public arena.

Conservative proponents of a ballot measure to place a ban on same-sex marriages in the state Constitution submitted 1.1 million signatures last week to qualify their initiative for the November ballot.

The language of the measure may sound familiar to voters: "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

It is the same language of Proposition 22, which voters approved in March 2000. The difference is that Proposition 22 was an initiative statute; the new measure is a constitutional amendment.

Such a constitutional amendment would make it impossible for this or a future state Supreme Court to find a right to same-sex marriage in the state Constitution.

There are early indications that this time the opponents of gay marriage may have pushed too far.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has a pretty good ear for public sensibilities on social issues. He has twice vetoed bills to legalize same-sex marriage in California, each time citing the opinion of the electorate expressed in Proposition 22.

But when asked this month about the new initiative, Schwarzenegger called it "a waste of time" and promised that he will fight it.

If the governor senses this is a case of overkill, there's a good chance a great many middle-of-the-road Californians will see it the same way.

In addition, polling suggests that Californians' views on gay marriage have shifted substantially. Proposition 22 passed 61 percent to 39 percent in March 2000. But in August 2005 a survey by the Public Policy Institute of California found that likely voters were evenly split on the question of gay marriages: 46 percent in favor, 46 percent opposed.

[...]

Gay-rights advocates in California may not appreciate having to fight another ballot initiative this fall, but it could represent the next step forward in their quest for full civil rights.

If the Supreme Court were to rule in June that same-sex couples have constitutional rights to everything short of using the word "marriage" and voters were to reject in November a ballot measure to restate California policy forbidding gay marriage, it could lay the foundation for ultimately legalizing gay marriage.

A public vote against a gay-marriage ban might embolden Schwarzenegger to sign the next same-sex marriage bill that makes it to his desk, or it could set the stage for a future governor to do so.

 

Timm Herdt is chief of The Star state bureau.

[jw]

Commentary: Caught Between the Wild Party and the Wedding Party

Link: WayneBesen.com
by Wayne Besen
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Excerpt:

When I first came out in 1988, if two young gay people met, the reaction often was, "You too! I thought I was alone." As my twenty-year high school reunion approaches, I witnessed an identical response in a seminal New York Times Magazine cover story. At a coffee shop in Boston, two gay men, Aaron and George, met for the first time.

"I thought I was the only one." "Me too!"

What differed was that these two young men were relieved to meet because they were legally divorced and had not met peers who had experienced similar situations. While we have a long journey towards full equality ahead of us, it is a dramatically different world than the one I came out in.

[...]

I sometimes hardly recognize the gay community's social scene. When I first came out, many gay bars had a back room, which was a dark crevice where men furtively had sex. Today, a dark room likely means a gay couples' row house den with mood lighting. Contemporary gay bars have largely gone from seedy to chic and - for better or worse - often attracting many straight people.

An older friend of mine who visited Boston half-jokingly complained, "There's something morally wrong with a city where it's easier to marry a boyfriend than find a gay bar."

His observation was spot on. Boston Globe writer Robert David Sullivan told National Public Radio this week that he noticed the number of gay bars in Boston had been cut in half in recent years.

Massachusetts is not the only place the gay social scene has been transformed. Fortune Magazine named gay bars as one of the 10 businesses it thinks is facing extinction. It joined a list of has-beens that includes record stores and crop dusting. Additionally, overt street cruising is out of fashion and demure glances have largely replaced outright ogling.

The decline in the public sex culture and gay bars can be attributed, in part, to the rise of the Internet. However, a larger trend, captured by the Times magazine article, is at work. A good portion of men in their mid 20's have been out of the closet for more than a decade. (They were barely in) Having had a normal adolescence, they are already burnt out on gay bars and ready to start families.

A couple of weeks ago, I visited Washington and met up with the friends I used to party with in the mid to late 90's. Today, they are all in long-term relationships and in bed by the time they used to wake up from their disco naps.

The changes in the gay social scene have happened so fast that they are sometimes difficult to comprehend. It's as if someone slipped a roofie into the GLBT community's mimosa and while we slept Rudy Giuliani swooped down in drag and cleaned up our Times Square.

Sometimes, I fondly reminisce about the good old days. Then, I recall that that the endless party was a product of our oppression. The storied "days" were actually really late nights - and as I get older, I want to be up on Sunday morning in time to watch "Meet the Press."

Caught between the wild party and wedding party generations, the rapid pace of change can seem unsettling, yet reassuring.

"Am I the only one who feels this way?"

"You, too! Thank, God."

Commentary: The Rainbow Picket Fence

Link: Mombian
by Dana Rudolph
image

Full text by permission.

Both the New York Times and Details magazine have just published articles that look at the “settling down” of gay male culture. The Times, in a Sunday Magazine cover story, explores the trend of even young gay men in their 20’s getting married. Details looks at “The Gay Baby Boom.”

It’s a good thing that mainstream media is finally realizing there’s more to gay life than darkened bars and sparkly drag shows. At the same time, I can’t help but think: Didn’t we gals go through this already? Newsweek’s famous cover article on “Lesbians: Coming Out Strong” appeared back in 1993, and these days you can’t find a lesbian on mainstream television who isn’t trying to become a parent.

I guess that’s old news by now. Old news, it seems, is soon forgotten. Detail’s Edward Lewine says “And as with many trends, the increase in gay fathers has afforded its own terminology: the gayby boom.” Hold it right there: “Gayby boom” was a term first applied to gay and lesbian parents across the board, not just gay dads, back in 1990. (”The Future of Gay America,” Newsweek, March 12, 1990. Thanks, Word Spy.) With 22 to 28 percent of lesbian households in the 2000 U.S. Census (PDF link) having children in them (including those over 18), versus 5 to 14 percent of gay male households, and one in three lesbians having given birth versus one in six gay men having fathered a child, it’s fair to say we dykes were a driving force in the need for such a term. I’m happy to acknowledge a baby boom among gay men, but let’s not attribute the origin of the phrase to them alone.

Lewine also reports:

And it’s not just gay couples who are investigating IVF. Many homosexual men have decided to go it alone, which provides at least one tangible bonus: While single parenthood can be a turnoff on the heterosexual dating scene, being a single gay dad is—there’s really no other word for it—hot.

“In the gay community, having a child as a single man is a sign of assertiveness,” [gay dad] Ron Poole-Dayan says. “It’s also appealing to know this is a gay man who isn’t afraid of commitment.” Poole-Dayan says he’s seen six out of the seven single gay dads he knows pair off after the births of their children.

Funny, the three books about single moms I’ve reviewed recently (Choosing You, Knock Yourself Up, and My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy don’t view single parenthood as such a dating boon. Double standard? No. I’m not sure a child is really a dating accessory even for gay men. Lewine and Poole-Dayan are confusing cause and effect. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that gay men, like others who choose to become single parents, usually do so not because they want to parent by themselves, but because they haven’t found the right person by the time the parental urge becomes overwhelming and the biological clock starts ticking down. If six of seven single gay dads find partners after becoming parents (and that’s not scientific data), it’s not because children are a hot dating accessory, but because men who have children are also likely to desire the whole family package, partner included. Usually, a partner comes first, but not always.

Both the Times and Details remind me, though, that while the LGBT community forms a certain whole, it is at times more a loose federation than a unified construct. We may all be plunging towards a life filled with white picket fences and strollers, but we are coming from different places and moving at different rates. Some of us, too, may choose not to go there.

LGBT activist Wayne Besen observes “The changes in the gay social scene have happened so fast that they are sometimes difficult to comprehend. . . . Caught between the wild party and wedding party generations, the rapid pace of change can seem unsettling, yet reassuring.”

Luckily for those gay men who find themselves unsettled, there’s bound to be a couple of lesbian moms (if not lesbian grandmas) down the street who will invite them in for some comforting advice over herbal tea and hummus.

[jw]

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Daily Kos: Getting Hitched for Health Insurance

Link: Daily Kos

SusanG on Daily Kos asks:

The Los Angeles Times this morning, reporting on a new Kaiser Family Foundation poll:

WASHINGTON -- Some people marry for love, some for companionship, and others for status or money. Now comes another reason to get hitched: health insurance.

In a poll released today, 7% of Americans said they or someone in their household decided to marry in the last year so they could get healthcare benefits via their spouse.

Can't wait to hear the right-wing wurlitzer crank up to demand universal health insurance to preserve the sanctity of wedlock. Surely all those desperately non-insured brides and grooms hooking up are threatening the marriages of all the rest of us. Right?

[jw]

Commentary: "Normal" Gay People in the New York Times

Link: The Huffington Post
by Joan Garry
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Excerpt:

Maybe I'm just trying to distract myself from "Democratic Celebrity Death Match." But I don't think so. I've been quite focused this week on the cover story of this past Sunday's New York Times Magazine -- the story called "Young Gay Rites." Do take a minute to read it online if you haven't seen it. You will no doubt have varying reactions to it -- some will reflect on the couples, some on the journalist, many on you.

The piece offers a very narrow swath of gay "married" life (maybe we should use the word in quotes until we have all the same state and federal legal rights and responsibilities as straight people) -- young white men in their 20s in the state of Massachusetts. The photography is clever ("kitschy" would be the gay adjective) and as a sociological portrayal of a small niche, I suppose it was rather good. But a cover story? A cover that teases the piece this way: "Life among young men who are married (to men) in Massachusetts could not be more normal. Strange."

Strange indeed.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I have been with my partner since I was 23. By the time I was the age of the men profiled, we owned a home in the suburbs, had joint bank accounts and yes, two cats. I know from settling down in my 20s. And I don't know -- call me old fashioned -- but I considered it a sign of maturity. The right to "marry" was not available to us in 1983 but had it been, we'd have avoided "living in sin" lo these many years. In fact, it could be said that the strangest thing about us was that we were not and could not be "married" like our straight neighbors.

The journalist appeared to be making a case that the profiled couples were normal and not strange. Instead, Mr. Denizet-Lewis introduces us to couples who are silly, vacuous and naïve. "We've thought a lot about household roles," says Marc about his partner Vassili. "I'm going to clean and Vassili is going to cook." At another point, Benjamin reminds Joshua that he is 25 and not